This is Hollywood..

- Your friends go to "church" at a club

- People proudly post on facebook that they are "staying in tonight" with the same pride a normal person would boast of giving birth to a child

- You feel the need to dress up to go watch football

- Every girl at the pool party is wearing heels, and god forbid someone actually gets in it

- People offer you cocaine and show you pictures of their kids in the same conversation

- If your champagne isn't magnum size or bigger you can all but forget about having girls hang out at your table

- Ladies - You've been picked up for a date in a borrowed car

- Fellas - You've considered sticking a plastic "M3" emblem on your 1-series beamer

- Ladies - You go out 6 nights a week till 4 or 5am... yet can't seem to meet a good guy!

- When someone from out of town asks you about the club "Trousdale" you say, "OH, you mean "Trousy"

- You are AMAZED when you find out one of your club "friends" has a real job

- You see the same exact girls in the clubs, every night, for around 3 years... then they get jobs, get boyfriends, move to Hermosa, or otherwise disappear

- You see the same exact guys in the clubs, every night... FOREVER!

-You spend the first 10 minutes of your work day deleting Facebook evites

-It starts raining and everyone forgets how to drive

-The club you went to last night has had 3 different names in the last 9 months

-50 year old rich guys are constantly whisking your girlfriends away to Cabo

-If you are female, upon arriving in Hollywood, you are handed a script to recite should you get stuck waiting outside of a club. It goes something like this, "OMGGG this is soooo stupid, I like NEVER wait outside of a club. Ugh. Omg. Fuck this. I'm leaving... In 5 more minutes."

-If you are male, you don't know what they are talking about because although you have been there 3 weeks in a row you have yet to see the inside of the club

-You have taken a 5 minute cab ride that somehow cost 25 dollars

-Although you can crack the velvet rope of any nightclub in the city within seconds... every Sunday you still find yourself waiting 20 minutes to get a table at Toast